Walk by faith...: He is Faithful

It is hard to put into words what my experience in Liberia was like beyond the logistical details. I did not come back on the “mission trip high” that I have seen and heard in many other people. And I have to admit that was discouraging to me at first. I felt like my trip wasn’t going to measure up to everyone’s expectations; that I wouldn’t glorify Him enough. But the last couple days of the trip God opened my eyes to the work He was doing and as I process it all now I am slowly gaining a better understanding. He was indeed faithful to work in the lives of many, and definitely in me, during our time in Liberia. He is always faithful. This trip was for Him and through Him; the purpose - for His kingdom to be furthered and His name glorified among the people of Liberia. That’s what I wanted to focus on. But He had a purpose for me personally as well – work that He wanted to do in my heart and things He wanted me to learn about Him. I didn’t want to make it about me. I just wanted Him to give me joy about being used and excitement for the work He was doing in others. But apparently the trip wasn’t about me being pumped up it was about being humbled, and persevering.

The first two days of the trip were tough because I was uncomfortable and felt like I didn’t have a place. I wasn’t “any good” at the history taking or the physical therapy. That is hard for me. I didn’t know anyone on my team and I didn’t have a phone or computer to connect with anyone back home. I only had Him. I cried out to God to help me receive His love and His strength. I told Him I wanted to trust Him to be sufficient for me and asked Him to comfort me and encourage me. He was faithful. And then He gave me a little gift – a friend:) (Lori was on the dental team that was with us the first week) God sometimes asks us to step out on faith and be willing to walk the road with Him alone. And He blesses us when we do. Just like He showed me in the 2 weeks before the trip, He loves to use others in our lives to come along side us and be an example of His love. I was not at all expecting it but God truly blessed me through Lori. Her caring heart, fun-loving spirit, and love for Jesus made me smile every day:) He is so good.

So the week picked up and God continued to remind me that it’s not about what I can do it’s about what He can do through me when I fully surrender and have faith. He showed me “my verse” in four different instances that week! One day it was in the book I was reading while over there, another day it was in my daily devotional book, another day it was in the team devotional, and another day it came up in conversation with someone. He just keeps adding to my testimony that there is a God and He is personal:) He was teaching me that doing His will and allowing Him to work through me doesn’t mean that things will be easy or will go perfectly in my eyes; it doesn’t mean that things will always make sense. But I can trust that He is working and that His will is perfect because I know that He is good.

I did pick up on some of the PT concepts and was able to treat some patients, but as I said that was not the highlight of the trip for me. What I loved was the opportunity to learn about the people and about what life is like for them. The second best conversations I had were with the Liberian Physician Assistant students who were translating for us during the 2 weeks. One in particular that stuck in my heart was hearing Nancy talk about her burden for women and her desire to start a woman’s prayer group. From what I could gather something of that nature is virtually unheard of over there. I believe strongly in the power of that type of community and I felt a desire to support her in some way, though I didn’t know what that would look like. I started by giving her a little book I had with me called “Encouraging Words for Women” and told her that I would be praying for her. The day we left she told me she was praying that I would come back and be a speaker for her women’s group. I told her she could put that one up there with her prayer that I would come back and marry a single Liberian pastor! In other words, that would have to be a God thing because me and public speaking don’t mix. But oh how I would love to see Jesus infect those women and see them rise up.

The best conversations I had were with the patients who had a desire to hear and understand the gospel. There is nothing more precious and important in life yet I never treat it that way. I’m so thankful that God challenged me by placing me in a situation I was fearful of and faithfully showing Himself. He worked through our team to change the hearts of at least 250 people during the 2 weeks. He shared with me His heart and passion for people to hear and understand His word. And He showed me that it is important for people to understand their need for Jesus as the only way to God and eternity in Heaven. Forgiveness of our sins and salvation in Heaven is what he promises us and says can never be taken away once received. But he never promises life will be easy or filled with only good things. If people don't understand the need for His grace they may become discouraged and easily walk away from Him when life gets hard and the hope/joy/love they thought He would provide “seems” to fail. I know His love never fails; it is what carries me through each day. But it took a long time and several personal experiences for me to be able to believe that in the midst of trials. A true understanding of Him and His ways is something that has to be nurtured over time. So long story short (yeah right, that phrase is not in my vocabulary) I came back with a burden for the need for discipleship over there.

It was a great trip overall but by the end of the second week I was ready to come home. I was anxious to connect with my family and friends again. And I would be lying if I said the comforts of home weren’t a little appealing too:) The trip home was long and the first several days back I was tired and feeling pretty mellow. It was hard to talk about the experience because I was still processing it all. But those who sat and went through pictures with me saw the smile that came across my face as I talked about the people on my team and the people we ministered to. And as the days go by my mind is clearing and processing, and the desires of my heart are growing.

I don’t know what is next for me. I do believe more overseas mission work is in my future, but what exactly that looks like (short term or long term, in what country, through what organization, doing what) I can’t say. My heart’s desire right now is to be off going through missionary training courses, but I don’t want to dive into something unless God is leading me there. God tends to reveal His plan one small step at a time, and usually not as soon as I would like! So I am praying that my mind and heart will be open to whatever He has in store, even if it’s not exactly what I have in mind or desire. I’m praying that I will not only have patience but will enjoy the opportunity just to be and grow closer to Him every day. That is His ultimate will for my life. And I know that deeper intimacy with Him and a far greater knowledge of His word are needed to equip me. So as much as I want to be on a plane back to Africa in 2 or 3 months, I have a feeling you’ll be seeing me around for a while longer:)

“From him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever!” Romans 11:36